Gossipers and Tell-tales
The most despicable qualities that exist
Stes the Necker
One of the worst things that can happen to a person is when you are
slandered and you can do nothing about it. Everyone who has ever been the
victim of a false accusation or malicious gossip will know just how much
anguish and harm it can cause. That feeling of disappointment, resentment,
bitterness and anger towards your slanderer. Especially when such gossip is not
the truth; which in ninety-nine percent of the time is the case.
How do you kill the fires and defend yourself? Our first response is
usually to attack the slanderer head-on and to tell him/her exactly what we think
of them. That feeling of wanting to crush that person. It hurts when people
tell stories about you, especially if it is untruths. It touches a person’s soul
and dignity when gossipers judge you. But it is not only "other"
people that gossip about you, even your own family can gossip about you.
Sometimes there are even people who you do not even know or whom you've never
met in your life, who talk as if they have known you personally for years!
One wonders just how much pain and sorrow gossipers have caused in
other people's lives over the years, and how many people have been devastated
by this.
In English "The Message" Bible, Jak.3: 16-18 says:
"Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the
better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others'
throats. Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized
by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with
mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can
develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its
results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating
each other with dignity and honour. "
So why do people do it? There can certainly be a whole lot of reasons,
but probably jealousy is one of the biggest. Someone is jealous of someone
else's success or what that person has achieved in life and then starts
gossiping about that person to make him / her look bad.
Or it might be that someone feels so threatened by another's success
that the gossiper will do everything to paint the other person black.
Another reason is that some people have too little to do, and now they
live to gossip about others.
Another reason could be that you were not prepared to dance to someone
else’s pipes, and now that person is doing everything to sour your life with
half-truths and lies.
The following personal qualities usually go hand in hand with a typical
gossiper:
• Trying to be better than others;
• To belittle someone by showing how great he / she (the gossiper) is;
• Not being able to work with the people around him/her.
• To be unfair and overbearing;
• Not to have mercy for others;
• Being moody and volatile;
• Having double standards.
• Being a Two Face.
In the apocryphal book, The Wisdom of Ben Sirach (chap. 28) is written:
"Cursed is the gossipers and people who speak from two mouths! They
destroyed many who strive for peace. People who indulge in gossip, will not
find rest; they will never be calm. If a person is hit with a whip, it would
leave a mark, but if someone is hit with the tongue, it cuts right to the
bone.”
Gossip and slander are sins before God and those who persist in doing
it, are living in rebellion against the living God. In 1 Cor. 5:11 Paul
emphasizes the need to act against those unloving and slandering:
"But now I have written unto you not to go with someone who,
though he stood as a brother, is a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or
a drunkard, or an extortioner ; with such a person you should not even sit down
to eat. "
People who claim that they belong to Christ but are guilty of these
acts, their evidence that they belong to Christ will immediately come under
suspicion. Someone who belongs to Christ, and who lives under the authority of
Christ, his/her actions will serve as evidence of Christ in his / her life.
Even the secular state recognize the act and the harm that go with
false accusations and is known in law as crimen
injuria. It can be described in short as criminal or malicious (emotional)
assault on someone's reputation.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love
it shall eat the fruit thereof." (Proverbs 18:21) This is an interesting
verse, and quoted so many times, but what does it really means? It simply means
that with our tongues we can speak physical death to a person or a cause. And
"speaking death” includes ordinary human gossip!
In the middle ages when people did not like a person, he/she was
usually branded as a witch and then burned on a pyre. Today gossipers kill people's
character and integrity and destroyed their lives on the pyres of their fiery
tongues.
Before you slander someone or gossip about that person, just think about
the damage you can do to that person. Consider first the pain you cause.
To those who have been victims of denigration or slanderous gossip, always
remember God's comfort in Exodus 14:14: "The Lord will fight for you, and
ye shall hold your peace." What a wonderful comfort to know that we do not
have to make a big issue out of this. The Creator say that you just need to be
still and he will fight for you.
But what do you do when someone comes to you with a gossip story? If
you have any integrity, you will let such a gossiper understand unambiguously that
you are not interested in his / her story. Remember, whoever can gossip with
you, can gossip about you. "With such a person you should not even
eat." (1 Cor 5:11).
And if we have offended anyone through gossip, we need to ask that
person forgiveness in all humility and sincerity. God holds us responsible for
this. But if you did nothing wrong before God or man - you have nothing to
apologize for.
If there was one who knew how it felt to be falsely accused, it was
Jesus, and still he could, while he was already hanging on the cross, crying
out: "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. "
Let us be people who can be trusted with a secret. Let us use our
tongues to speak Life in people's lives, instead of being someone who break
down, and destroy other people’s lives. In stead of spreading negative
criticism, let's build each other up. Let us recognize and talk about the good
qualities of another person rather than to hurt and slander someone else.
The Bible is very clear, someday we will pick the fruits of whatever we
have said.
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